TEASER

INT. AH.COM SHIP – CONTROL ROOM – DAY

The camera pans across the room, showing most of the crew at their stations. A view of yet another Earth is on the view screen.

DR. WHAT
So, LEO, what’s the scoop on this timeline?

LEO CAESIUS
The technology of this timeline is a solid class E.
No real spacecraft beyond satellites and a handful
of shuttles. Pollutionis still a problem, no nuclear
fusion yet. However… the population seems to
have an imbalance. Women outnumber men on
the planet at a ratio of 4 to 1. And most of the men
are in poor health, with severe dehydration and
exhaustion being common.

The crew all look at each other uneasily.

MATT
Um… it’s not another world with cannibal
supermodels, is it? Because that one sucked…
no one got laid there. Not even me!

LEO CAESIUS
No, it’s not that. Hmmm…. My scans seem to
show that the women of this world are inflicted
with a severe form of nymphomania. It seems
to have been caused by a side affect of biological
warfare. The men who survive are simply being
screwed to death…. Hello?

A rumbling sound is heard off camera. The camera switches views to show a wide angle view of the room. KIT is looking around in confusion; he’s all alone. The doors are wide open, and a trail of litter leads there, obviously left in the wake of a mass rush to them.

INT- AH.COM SHIP- TELEPORTATION ROOM- DAY

G BONE is seen sitting at his station in here, reading a Power Girl comic book.

G BONE
Oh man, look at those bazooms.

He looks around in curiosity as a low rumbling sound is heard. He gets up and walks around, looking at the equipment. The rumbling sound gets louder and louder, and the room starts to shake. As G BONE looks around in panic, the doors to the room open, and nearly all the crew of the ship are seen running inside towards the teleporter pad. G BONE screams in fear as the crowd threatens to trample him, but they stop just in time, and start demanding all at once to be sent down to the planet.

WEAPON M
I’m going! I bet I could have a threesome on this world!
Or… dare I even dream about it… a foursome!
(shivers in delight)

DR. WHAT
No, you can’t all go at once! Only a select few to be a
welcoming committee. And of course, as captain, I must go!

LEO CAESIUS
Hey, guys, you really should know that…

HENDRYK
Hey, G BONE, just put me down in the middle of downtown Canton…

MICHAEL
I don’t care where you send me, so long as there are women there…
any women at all… but no red headed ones please…

LEO CAESIUS
Guys, you really ought to see this…

TORQUMADA
Put me down in Florida! Sweet Vicky, here I come!!

LUAKEL
Ooh, can I have a girl too?! Please?!

DR. WHAT
Sorry, kid, we can’t contribute to the delinquency of a minor.
Plus, you cramp my style when you’re hanging around.

LUAKEL
(muttering)
Bastards.

A piercing whistle emits from LEO CAESIUS’S speakers, and everyone covers their ears in pain. It sounds for only a few seconds, and then stops.

LEO CAESIUS
Now that I have your attention, guys,
you really need to return to your stations.
A vortex just opened up… and someone
we know just popped out of it.

The crew grumbles, but most of them leave the room. G BONE, alone again, sits back down and picks up his comic book.

G BONE
Ah, back to Power Girl. Oh man, look at those bazooms…

INT- AH.COM SHIP- CONTROL ROOM- DAY

The doors open, and the crew members are seen filing back into the room. The camera pans around, and we see KIT still at his station.

KIT
About time you lot came back. Look, the prodigal son returns…

DR. WHAT
What the hell are you talking…

His gaze wanders to the view screen, and his eyes widen in surprise.
The camera switches to a close up view of the view screen, and a shuttle is seen on it. The name “MYNX” is clearly seen on the side.

DR. WHAT
Oh my God… OTHNIEL! He’s found us. KIT, can you contact him?

KIT
Already done…

The view screen changes to an interior shot of the shuttle. OTHNIEL is seen sitting at the controls. DR. WHAT grins at him.

DR. WHAT
OTHNIEL! It’s good to see you again.
(beat)
So… did you find him?

OTHNIEL doesn’t answer, but simply moves aside. Behind him, STRAHA is seen lying on a seat, bound hand and foot, and gagged. OTHNIEL moves back into his seat; he looks weary and haggard.

OTHNIEL
I did. But I have something I need to go over with
you as soon as I get back onboard. We may be in trouble.

DR. WHAT
Okay. LANDSHARK is clearing the docking bay for you now.

The view screen switches to an exterior space shot again, and the MYNX is seen moving off the camera scene.

DR. WHAT
My God. He did it… he actually did it. He tracked STRAHA
across the timelines and found him and captured him.

GREY WOLF
So… now what? What do we do with him?

DR. WHAT
I… don’t know. I never really expected to have to deal with this.
(long pause)
Maybe the best thing to do would be to turn him over to IAN.
When it comes to the Fallen, we’re really out of our depth…
even if he used to be one of us.

LANDSHARK
That might be for the best… okay, the MYNX
is back on board. OTHNIEL should be…

LEO CAESIUS
WARNING! VORTEX OPENING!

Everyone looks back towards the view screen, and the camera switches to a close up shot of it. A vortex is seen opening up out in space, and a ship emerges from it. The ship is huge and of rectangular shape, with many missile silos, weapon bays, and communications gear on it. It is a ship we’ve seen before.

The Vendetta.

CUT TO OPENING CREDITS:

An Alternatehistory.com Presentation:

AH.COM: The Series

“THE MACHINE”

Written By : DAVE HOWERY & MERRYPRANKSTER

ACT I

EXT. THE VENDETTA

THE VENDETTA immediately opens fire on the AH.com

INT- AH.COM SHIP- CONTROL ROOM- DAY

Everyone in the room is looking at the view screen with shocked expressions.

DR. WHAT
Oh shit. They found us again.
(pause)
I knew this day would come, but I hoped….

He turns to face the others, a grim look on his face.

DR. WHAT
Red alert! All hands to battle stations! LEO, put up the shields!
DAVE, get ready to shift out of this timeline ASAP!

The first wave of VENDETTA weapons SLAM into the AH.com hull.

LEO CAESIUS
Direct hit on shield generator! Shields at 20%!
20% of all ship weapon bays are offline!

DAVE HOWERY
(on intercom)
Doc, the shift engines took a major surge and went offline!
Can’t shift until I can replace some power units on it.

DR. WHAT
Damn it! Can’t shift out, can’t fight for long.
Only thing left to do is… run!

EXT. AH.COM SHIP

Thrusters flare and the AH.com ship turns away from the planet and jets away. The Vendetta lingers by the planet for a moment, then initiates pursuit.

INT. AH.COM CONTROL ROOM

LANDSHARK looks up from his console to DR. WHAT.

LANDSHARK
They’re gaining on us. We’ve
got a bit of a head start, but their
engines are far more powerful.
(beat)
Got any ideas?

DR. WHAT
Besides lose control of my bodily functions
due to fear?

He thinks for a moment, then snaps his fingers.

DR. WHAT
Take us into the asteroid belt.
We’ve still got most of our weapons, and I’ve
got an idea.

EXT. AH.COM SHIP

Different thrusters flare and the AH.com changes course. Behind it, we see the Vendetta gaining on them.

INT. VENDETTA BRIDGE

SBEGIN, TYRANNUSZERO, and EVIL MrP stand on the bridge, watching the big plasma-screen. The AH.com is ahead of them, but they’re quickly closing the distance.

TYRANNUS ZERO
When we close with them, blast them
to bits. We’ll never give them the opportunity to
commit treachery again.

EVIL MrP
But shouldn’t we take at least
some prisoners?
(beat)
Give them a chance to accept the
Emperor’s grace?

TYRANNUS ZERO
No. We gave them a chance once and
lost one of our engines for it. No mercy this time.
(beat)
At least they didn’t have any LUAKELS
on that planet. No need for war there.

EXT. AH.COM SHIP

The AH.com ship passes into the asteroid field.

INT. AH.COM CONTROL ROOM

Everyone looks to DOCTOR WHAT.

DOCTOR WHAT
Okay, here’s my plan.
We use our remaining weapons
to knock asteroids at them.
(beat)
I don’t think we’ll destroy them outright,
but we can buy time to repair our drive and get out of here.

LANDSHARK
That’s a good plan.
(beat)
Kind of surprised you came up with it.

GBW
Uh, DOC, that won’t…

DOCTOR WHAT
Immediate danger has a way of
getting the mind off porn and booze.

GREY WOLF
We’re actually in the asteroid belt.
If they fire into the belt, they can knock asteroids
into us .

GBW
But, guys, this plan won’t…

DOCTOR WHAT
Well, we’ve got a lot of point-defense weapons.
Those should count for something.
(beat)
That also gives us incentive to knock as many asteroids
as quickly as possible at them.
(beat)
Good point, though. DAVE, how soon can we have the drive fixed?

The intercom is silent.

DOCTOR WHAT
I bet he and KEIRA are at it again.
Someone go fetch him.

GBW
But, guys, I’m telling you, this won’t…

KIT
Engineering is reporting in… they’re saying
DAVE HOWERY is back, and he’s armed to the teeth.

DR. WHAT
Whatever, just so he’s working on that drive.

EXT. AH.COM SHIP

The camera shows a view of the AH.COM putting on a burst of speed, heading out past Mars into space.

INT. AH.COM CONTROL ROOM

DR. WHAT
Okay, now let’s… wait a minute. Where are all the asteroids?

GBW
That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, DOC. The asteroid belt
isn’t very dense, the ones big enough to see are millions of miles
apart. We could rocket around in here for days without encountering
any. Heck, when they used to send out those space probes to Jupiter
and Pluto, they’d send them right through the belt and none of them
ever hit anything.

DR. WHAT
But… in the movies, they always show hundreds of
them clustered together. Why would the movies lie?

GBW
Geez, DOC, don’t you know the difference
between movies and real life?

DR. WHAT looks at him for a long moment.

DR. WHAT
Of course I do!

GBW
Right. Anyway, the asteroid belt doesn’t have a lot of mass in it.
If you clumped it all together, it wouldn’t even be as big as the moon.
So, your plan isn’t going to work. We need to do something else…

LANDSHARK
Heads up! Something is coming into view.

The camera switches to the view screen as everyone looks towards it. A large and very bright object is seen. As the ship moves in closer, the object is seen to be a very large asteroid with a huge crater on it. Several other small asteroids are clumped around it.

DR. WHAT
What the hell is that?

GBW
That’s Vesta, the second largest asteroid in the system.
It’s about 330 miles in diameter, and got smacked by a
meteor or something in the past that gouged out a huge crater on it.

MATT
How the hell do you know all this stuff?

GBW
(shrugs)
Hey, you have to know all this to be a good pilot.

LANDSHARK
I didn’t know all that.

GBW
I said a good pilot.

LANDSHARK
Oh.
(pause)
Hey!
(long pause)
That was an insult!
(long pause)
Wasn’t it?

DR. WHAT looks at the view screen for a moment, deep in thought.

DR. WHAT
Got an idea. LANDSHARK, move in close to Vesta.
MATT, prepare all weapons.

EXT- SPACE

The AH.COM is seen making a course correction and moving towards Vesta. After a moment, the Vendetta enters the scene, pursuing the smaller ship and firing at it continuously.

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

DR. WHAT is seen looking anxiously at the view screen. On it, Vesta is seen getting closer and closer until it fills the whole screen.

DR. WHAT
All right, MATT, now!

EXT- SPACE

The AH.COM rockets past several small asteroids as it moves close to Vesta’s surface. Suddenly, it erupts in weaponry; particle beams fire, missiles fly, and a sheep is launched from one weapons bay, bleating pitifully. All of the weapons strike either the smaller asteroids or the surface of Vesta; the sheep splatters messily against one asteroid. In moments, a huge cloud of dust obscures the scene, and the AH.COM flies into it and disappears.

The Vendetta enters the scene. It slows momentarily, and then flies straight into the dust cloud.

The camera switches angles, and the Vendetta is seen exiting the far side of the cloud. It fires thrusters, and halts in space.

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

The camera opens with a shot of TYRANNUS ZERO. He looks puzzled, and stands up.
The camera switches angles to behind him, showing the view screen. Only empty space can be seen.

SBEGIN
But… that’s impossible! They couldn’t have moved so far so fast!

TYRANNUS ZERO
Are they still hiding in the cloud? Or have they crashed on Vesta’s surface?

CREWMAN
No, sir. All scans are negative. The
AH.COM is not within scanning range.

A low laugh is heard from off camera.

VOICE (o.c.)
I told you they were clever.

TYRANNUS ZERO turns, an annoyed look on his face. The camera turns with him, and we see MIKE COLLINS standing at the back of the bridge, arms crossed insolently.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Silence, heretic. You are here at my whim only.
You promised to be helpful in chasing down this ship,
but they have eluded us in spite of you.

MIKE COLLINS
And I warned you not to underestimate them. Do not threaten me.
You need my help to find the AH.COM, and then deal with the Machine.
And I am not one to be threatened lightly.

TYRANNUS ZERO
And the Machine? I am curious as to why one of
the legendary Fallen is so adamant about destroying it.
That is our sacred goal, required of us by the memory
of our slain Emperor. But what is your reason?

MIKE COLLINS
The Machine is too dangerous. It has destroyed whole worlds…
and if it falls into the hands of any of my rivals, it will give them
great power. Thus, I would see it destroyed to preserve my own status.

Unnoticed by the others, EVIL MRP’S eyes narrow in suspicion at these words, and a quick smile is seen on his face.

TYRANNUS ZERO
We shall see. In the meantime, remove yourself from the bridge.
Go to the quarters I have given you, and wait for my call.

TYRANNUS ZERO turns his back, looking at the view screen again. MIKE COLLINS’ fists clench, and a quick look of anger washes across his face, but he turns and leaves the room. EVIL MRP looks around for a moment, and sees nobody watching him; he also leaves the room.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Move the ship away from Vesta. Program in a search grid between here
and Jupiter… and let us hope that some sign of the heretics’ ship is found.

EXT- SPACE

The Vendetta is seen moving away from Vesta into the open space beyond. The camera swings back towards the asteroid, and moves to the huge crater on it. The camera makes a long ‘flying’ sweep along the surface, over the rim of the crater, and then plunges down into it. The scene falls completely dark as the camera angle descends into the crater. After a moment, several small points of light are seen, which slowly grow as the camera moves closer, and we see that it is the AH.COM, parked at the bottom next to the wall of the crater.

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

The camera pans across the room, which is dimly lit with emergency lighting.

MATT
Whoa… I think this worked… they don’t
seem to have figured out where we are.

GBW
This is perfect! With the basalt and iron all around us, and
the fact that we’re 12 miles below the surface, they aren’t able to scan us.

DR. WHAT
Yet. We need to get repairs done, and then… I don’t know.

At this point, the doors open and DAVE HOWERY and KEIRA walk into the room. Both are heavily armed. DAVE has his two chainsaws strapped to his back, and KEIRA is loaded down with a flak jacket, helmet, shotgun, and a bandolier of shells across her torso. The gear barely fits her, and she is struggling to keep it in all in place as she walks.

DR. WHAT
Damn, DAVE, you look like you’re about to invade Gallipoli.

DAVE HOWERY
Hardy har. I’m not taking any chances this time,
if those armoured goons get aboard. So, what’s the plan now?

DR. WHAT
Well, we’ve bought ourselves some time, so let’s repair
the engines and weapon bays that were damaged.

DAVE HOWERY
How did they manage to find us again anyway?

DR. WHAT
That’s a good question…

DOCTOR WHAT turns to OTHNIEL.

DOCTOR WHAT
All right. Now that we’re relatively
safe, you’ve got some explaining to do.

OTHNIEL
All right. Here’s what happened…

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE BEGINS

EXT. MYNX

The Mynx erupts from a vortex. It looks somewhat the worse for wear already.

INT. MYNX COCKPIT

OTHNIEL wipes the sweat from his brow.

OTHNIEL
Five times to shift in.
Something’s strange about
this TL.

He looks at the instrument panel.

OTHNIEL
Bingo.

EXT- OUTSIDE THE MACHINE- DAY

The camera opens on a scene of lush tropical foliage. The bushes and ferns are seen waving as something moves through them. Finally, two bushes are parted, and we see two figures step into view. One of them is MIKE COLLINS, mightiest of the Fallen. He looks around, dark sunglasses hiding his expression. The other is STRAHA; he is sweating and panting with effort.

STRAHA
Why did we have to land the ship so far away and walk so far?
And why was I dragged along while MOLOBO gets to stay back on the ship?

MIKE COLLINS
Idiot! You know perfectly well that MOLOBO is laid up with that case
of syphilis he picked up on that China Superpower timeline. And we are
walking in from this distance because the Machine has defences that would
tear up our ship in seconds. Besides, you really need the exercise, lard ass.

STRAHA looks wounded and opens his mouth to say something, but he is distracted by something off camera. His eyes go wide with surprise. MIKE COLLINS notices and looks in the same direction. He also looks stunned.

The camera switches to their POV. It shows a large circular area that has been blasted clear for nearly a mile across. Nothing grows in this region. In the center of this area, there is a huge rectangular building, big as a factory. It is hard to see details at the far distance, but the building is seen to have an enormous transparent tank at one end, filled with some yellowish liquid, and what looks like a tremendous tuning fork at the other end.

The camera switches back to MIKE COLLINS. He has a look of evil happiness on his face.

MIKE COLLINS
It does exist! At last, my plans near completion!

STRAHA
But why did they set it up on this God forsaken planet
that doesn’t have any people on it?

MIKE COLLINS
Because it doesn’t have any people on it, you moron!
No one to interfere with its operation, no one to threaten it.
And it’s so hard to shift into this timeline that most won’t
even try. But I am not as most men. Let’s get closer to it.

The two Fallen move out towards the Machine.

EXT- LANDING ZONE- DAY

The camera shows the IP.NET ship parked in a clear grassy zone, surrounded by jungle. The camera pans around the ship, and we see another ship behind it… the shuttle MYNX. It apparently has just landed, and the retro rocket exhausts are still smoking. The ramp lowers, and we see OTHNIEL walk down. The camera closes in on him. He glances around with a determined look on his face. He pulls a scanner out of one pocket and pushes a button. Waving it around in different directions, he pauses as it points to the east. He turns it off and starts walking in that direction. As he moves away, we see that he has what looks to be a rifle slung across his back.

EXT- OUTSIDE THE MACHINE- DAY

The camera switches back to a view of the Machine, but a much closer view this time. STRAHA and MIKE COLLINS walk into the camera view. Both look at the Machine closely.

The camera switches to their POV, and we see the Machine in its entirety. The transparent tank on one end is now seen to be a cloning tank. The yellowish liquid inside is semi-opaque, and dim humanoid figures can be seen inside it… dozens of them. The ones near the bottom are vague and misshapen, and they get more and more advanced as they go up, until the ones at the top seem to be perfectly formed. Several faintly seen figures at the very top of the tank are waving their arms out of the top of the liquid, as if trying to get out.

The camera pans along the building, and several weapons ports are seen on the side… rocket and missile launchers, Gatling type cannons, and ordinary mortar type artillery. As the camera nears the end of the building, it moves up, and we see the tuning fork standing up at the end.

The camera switches back to the two Fallen. STRAHA is looking at the Machine with wide eyes, while MIKE COLLINS is grinning nastily to himself.

MIKE COLLINS
Yes… it is just as I thought it would be. Now, we have to
find a way inside and figure out how to take control.

STRAHA
Why would anyone make such a thing? It seems rather pointless.

MIKE COLLINS
For destruction alone. Destruction is never pointless.
Whoever built this thing, I think I like them…

A loud buzzer is heard off camera, and the two look back at the Machine. The camera switches to their POV. The manipulator arms on the cloning tank are seen reaching down into the cloning tank and pulling out a wet naked LUAKEL clone. Apparently, its brain has not yet solidified, as it is looking around vaguely and babbling incoherently, a vacant smile on its face. The camera switches to the center of the building. A panel on the roof slides back, and another piece of equipment is seen rising out of the hatch. As it comes into view, we see it is… a giant slingshot.

The camera switches to the tuning fork at the far end of the building. A low humming sound is heard that gets louder and louder. With a crackling of energy, a blue vortex is formed between the arms of the fork. The camera switches back to the manipulator arms. One is holding the LUAKEL clone, while the other is pulling back the cup on the slingshot. The LUAKEL is put into the slingshot, and then the arms let go. With a loud “Wheeee!” the clone shoots straight into the vortex. Seconds later, the vortex disappears and the slingshot retracts into the building.

The camera switches back to the two Fallen, who are looking at the Machine in disbelief.

MIKE COLLINS
Such technological wonders combined with such a primitive delivery system.
Whoever built this must have been both genius and mad. I wonder if…

He pauses, and looks around as a door opens on the side of the building. Several huge lumbering figures shamble out of it, and head towards the two Fallen. As they get closer, we see that they are heavily modified LUAKEL clones, massively muscled and carrying huge clubs.

MIKE COLLINS
Ah, it seems our presence here has been noticed. Not to worry,
this lot will be easy to get rid of.

MIKE COLLINS starts to move towards the LUAKELS, but suddenly stops and looks up at the sky in puzzlement. He turns swiftly and shoves STRAHA away, then dives for cover himself. A screaming sound is heard off camera that gets louder and louder. An explosion rips through the LUAKELS. MIKE COLLINS sits up and looks; all that can be seen are bits and pieces of them scattered across the ground. A second explosion hits the side of the Machine, and destroys a Gatling weapon there. The Machine’s defences begin firing back at something overhead.

MIKE COLLINS looks up into the sky as a shadow passes over him.

MIKE’S POV
The sun shines brightly overhead, but a huge object is moving across it. Explosions dance against the shields surrounding it. It is a ship, rectangular in shape…the VENDETTA.

MIKE COLLINS looks on in fury as more explosions rock the Machine. None actually break through the walls, but the defenses on the outside are being destroyed one at a time.

MIKE COLLINS
Damn it, who are these idiots?! I’ll crush
them for interfering in my plans!

With a loud groan of hydraulics, the Machine moves. The two arms of the tuning fork on the front swivel down until they are perpendicular to the ground, pointing in front of the building. A huge blue vortex starts to form there. With a puff of smoke, booster rockets underneath the building fire up, and the entire Machine lifts into the air. It slowly moves forward to the vortex.

MIKE COLLINS turns to STRAHA, who is sprawled on the ground, looking at everything rather dazedly.

MIKE COLLINS
It’s shifting out of this timeline! Quick, make yourself useful
for once, and scan that vortex! We need the coordinates.

STRAHA looks on blankly for a moment, and then takes out a portable scanner. He aims it at the vortex and pushes some buttons. He looks up triumphantly at MIKE COLLINS.

STRAHA
Got it!

He grins for a moment, and then looks puzzled. His eyes roll back and he falls face down on the dirt. A tranquilizer dart is seen sticking out of the back of his neck.
The camera switches to a view of OTHNIEL. He raises the tranquilizer rifle he carries, obviously having just fired it. He grins.

The camera switches back to the Machine. It moves slowly towards the vortex, and then enters it, vanishing from sight. The vortex closes seconds later.

The camera switches to MIKE COLLINS, who is looking on in fury.

MIKE COLLINS
I should have known one of you AH.COM losers would turn up here.
Well, boy, you stepped in it this time. I’m going to send what’s left
of you back to your ship in a matchbox.

He lunges at OTHNIEL. OTHNIEL frantically starts to reload his tranquilizer gun, as MIKE COLLINS closes in on him. Suddenly, several figures shimmer into view around the three. MIKE COLLINS finds himself facing a trio of space marines with bolters. OTHNIEL looks up straight into the face of sergeant LEEJ. The latter looks at him thoughtfully for a moment, and then a look of fury goes across his face.

LEEJ
You! One of the crew of that damned AH.COM!
A heretic who consorts with LUAKELS!

LEEJ hauls out his chainsword and starts it up. But a series of screams and yells behind him draws his attention. The camera switches to his POV. MIKE COLLINS is holding up one space marine by his neck (the marine’s helmet has been cracked in two) , throttling him slowly with one hand. The other two marines lie motionless on the ground. LEEJ runs at him, chainsword at the ready. MIKE COLLINS grins nastily as the marine’s neck breaks with a horrible crack, and then he throws the limp body at LEEJ. The flying corpse hits the sergeant, and he goes down hard.

MIKE COLLINS looks around to see OTHNIEL trying to drag STRAHA away. He moves forward angrily.

MIKE COLLINS
PUT HIM DOWN, BOY!

OTHNIEL drops STRAHA and again tries to reload the tranquilizer gun. MIKE COLLINS’ hands curl into fists as he stalks forward. But again, four space marines shimmer into view around him. MIKE COLLINS snarls in fury and smashes a fist right through the face plate of the helmet and into the face of one of them; with a horrid melon squashing sound, the marine goes down. The other three draw their chainswords and move to attack.

MIKE COLLINS dodges a swing and grabs the wrist of that marine, squeezing it mercilessly. The wrist bones are heard to crack, and the chainsword falls to the ground. MIKE COLLINS picks it up and disembowels the marine with it. He then blocks a blow from a second marine. He backs up as the two marines close in on him, fencing with them as they strike blows. He is obviously far stronger than they are, and parries their attacks with ease.

After a moment, the two marines split up, moving to each side of him. MIKE COLLINS grins, not looking worried at all. The two marines dart in, each swinging blows. MIKE COLLINS parries one blow, and grabs the arm of the other marine. Pulling him off balance, MIKE COLLINS swings his own chainsword and decapitates the marine.
The other marine backs off, and we get a clear look at him; it is sergeant NEK. He looks grim, but determined. MIKE COLLINS advances towards him, an arrogant and contemptuous look on his face.

The two settle into fencing stances and circle each other. Both dart in, striking blows, parrying, and dodging return blows. After a while, it becomes obvious that NEK is skillful, but simply no match for MIKE COLLINS. After a series of ineffectual blows, MIKE COLLINS finally manages to grab NEK’S wrist and immobilize the chainsword. His other hand drops his own chainsword and tears the helmet from NEK’S head. MIKE COLLINS grabs NEK by the throat and squeezes. NEK is slowly lifted up into the air, his feet dangling off the ground.

MIKE COLLINS
You are brave and strong. I respect that.
Not enough to stop from killing you though.

NEK chokes and beats his free hand feebly against the hand slowly throttling him. His eyes roll back, and he starts to go limp. MIKE COLLINS snarls in triumph, but a loud roar of rockets firing distracts him. He looks behind him

MIKE’S POV
Far off in the distance, the MYNX shuttle is seen rising into the sky.

MIKE COLLINS roars in fury. He throws NEK away from him.

NEK flies through the air and hits the dirt, hard. After a long moment, he takes a breath. He’s still alive.

MIKE COLLINS runs towards where he left his ship. Suddenly, he skids to a stop. The air shimmers in front of him and suddenly twenty SPACE MARINES appear, bolters pointed straight at him. MIKE COLLINS looks around at them, and then back to the sky.

MIKE’S POV
The MYNX leaps up into the sky with a flash of booster rockets. It soon moves out of sight.

MIKE COLLINS slowly takes the sunglasses off his face. He has a look of contempt and amusement on his face. He flexes his fingers and cracks his knuckles as he looks around at the space marines surrounding him.

MIKE COLLINS
So… which of you wants to die first?

FLASHBACK SEQUENCE ENDS

INT. AH.COM CONTROL ROOM

DR. WHAT looks at OTHNIEL.

DOCTOR WHAT
So you’ve got the coordinates to the current location
of the LUAKEL machine?
(beat)
The thing those guys are trying to destroy?

OTHNIEL nods.

DOCTOR WHAT looks at him for a moment. Then he lunges, leaping on top of him.

Everyone looks at DOCTOR WHAT like he’s gone mad.

DOCTOR WHAT
If we can give this info to them,
we might be able to get out of this alive.

MATT
But they wrecked the lounge!

DAVE HOWERY
And one of them tried to molest KEIRA!

WEAPON M
Not to mention last time we tried to cut
a deal with them, you backstabbed them and tried to blow
them up.

DR. WHAT
Damn it, that’s… true. Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There must be some way to make use of this information. All we
need to do is get it to the Vendetta somehow.

GBW
Well, we really can’t tell them directly, since they’d probably
shoot at us if we show ourselves. But maybe we can lead them
to it another way. What if we just move out of here, head towards
Earth, and shift to the Machine’s timeline on the way. The
Vendetta is bound to see and chase us, and follow us there.
Then, they’ll see the Machine, destroy it, and go home,
and never bother us again.

DR. WHAT
Wow, that’s… clever.

GBW
Of course… it’s me.

Most of the crew laughs in derision.

DR. WHAT
Well, at least we have a plan now. DAVE,
get started on repairs immediately,and
LANDSHARK, plot a course that’ll take us
out of here and straight back to Earth.
(pause)
This is going to be a tricky one to plan, but
we gotta do it and do it right.We’re only going
to get one shot at getting out of here.

MATT
We have another problem to deal with too,
DOC. What do we do with STRAHA?

DR. WHAT
(sighs)
Put him in the brig for now. Have DMA keep guard on him.

INT- VENDETTA CREW QUARTERS- DAY

The camera pans across a bare Spartan room, with only a bed, a footlocker, and a mirror and wash basin. MIKE COLLINS enters the room; he looks very angry, with fists clenched and bared teeth. He takes a deep breath, and then goes over to the basin and splashes water on his face. After towelling off, he turns around and starts in surprise. The camera switches to his POV, and we see EVIL MRP standing there, a smirk on his face.

EVIL MRP
You are lying, COLLINS.

MIKE COLLINS
About what? And how would you know anyway?

EVIL MRP
Your thoughts are open to me. You have no intention
of destroying the Machine, and hope to capture it for yourself.

MIKE COLLINS
So, you’re some kind of telepath, huh? I hate telepaths.

MIKE COLLINS strides forward, and EVIL MRP waves one hand towards him. MIKE COLLINS does slow momentarily, but he simply wades through the psychic attack and grabs EVIL MRP by the throat. He lifts the psyker off the floor and chokes him. EVIL MRP beats feebly against the arm holding him, and then gasps out a few words.

EVIL MRP
You… no… understand… want… to… help… you!

MIKE COLLINS lets EVIL MRP drop to the floor; the psyker staggers back, gasping for breath.

MIKE COLLINS
Help me? Why? From everything I’ve heard about you people,
you are utter fanatics when it comes to destroying the Machine.

EVIL MRP
Even fanaticism wears thin after a while. The crew is growing sick
of this mission. Dozens of timeline Earths destroyed, billions of lives
taken… after a while, it grates on your soul. Even the captain is
becoming weary of the endless slaughter. He hides it well from
everyone… except me. Also… there is one aboard the AH.COM
whom I would have spared.

MIKE COLLINS looks at him a moment, and then sneers slightly.

MIKE COLLINS
Man or woman?

EVIL MRP
A woman. A goddess.

MIKE COLLINS laughs.

MIKE COLLINS
Oh my nonexistent God! You have a thing for that
artificial woman that DAVE HOWERY found!

EVIL MRP
She’s not artificial! She’s a real breathing person!

MIKE COLLINS
Who was really created in a cloning tank.
But enough of that. So, what are you offering me here?

EVIL MRP
A trade in services. You help me obtain KEIRA
and I’ll help you capture the Machine.

MIKE COLLINS
I’m not sure that you can help me. But… the powers
of a telepath could be useful. Very well, I accept your offer.

EVIL MRP
Oddly enough, I can tell that you’re sincere. Luckily for you.
(pause)
It sounds like you know about KEIRA. How did she end up
on board that ship? And how did she end up with
DAVE HOWERY, of all people?

MIKE COLLINS
(smirks)
My, you got it bad, don’t you? Well, STRAHA told me the story,
and it’s actually a pretty good one. It all started when the ship
found its way to a planet that was one big LARP game…

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

The camera opens on OTHNIEL, who is sitting at a station and looking at a monitor; a list on it is scrolling up and down. HENDRYK comes into the scene and looks at OTHNIEL in puzzlement.

HENDRYK
Why are you at my station? And what are you looking for?

OTHNIEL
I’m going through the inventory lists,
seeing if there is anything we can use
against the Vendetta. Hey, these 20
cases of sonic grenades could be handy.

HENDRYK
Uh… actually, those are 20 cases of DR. WHAT’S porn.
He uses ‘sonic grenade’ as a code word.

OTHNIEL
Oh. And what about those six boxes of rocket launchers?

HENDRYK
Those are something that belongs to KIT, but I’ve always
been afraid to find out just what they actually are.

OTHNIEL
Dare I ask what the 20 spacesuits are?

HENDRYK
Those are really spacesuits, part of the ship’s original inventory.
Never been able to find a buyer for them.

OTHNIEL leans back wearily and rubs his eyes.

OTHNIEL
Well, darn it, I’m not having any luck here.
Hopefully the others are doing better than me.

The camera switches to DR. WHAT sitting in his chair; he is turning off a communicator switch.

DR. WHAT
DAVE says the engines are ready to go. All we need
now is to get out of here. Now… what do we do about
that problem of shifting into the timeline of the Machine?

OTHNIEL
There is a way around that. The Machine puts out a dampening field
that surrounds the Earth and partway out into space. Most people try
to shift near Earth and thus have problems getting to this timeline.
However, all we need to do is shift in away from Earth and move
in closer. That’s what MIKE COLLINS did, according to STRAHA.

DR. WHAT
Great! Everything is in place now. Okay, everyone get
to your stations. And hang on; this is going to be bumpy.

EXT- AH.COM SHIP

The camera shows the AH.COM lying on the bottom of the crater, with few lights showing. Suddenly, the ship lights up all over the hull. With a puff of boosters firing, the ship lifts into the air.

EXT- VESTA

The camera opens on a wide shot of the crater on Vesta. After a moment, the AH.COM is seen emerging from the darkness, flying straight towards the camera at high speed.

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE

A crewman at a monitoring station stops what he is doing, looking at a screen in surprise.

CREWMAN
Sir! The heretics’ ship just appeared on scanners.
They were hiding on Vesta after all.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Pursuit course. Don’t let them get away this time.
And summon MIKE COLLINS to the bridge.

EXT- SPACE

The camera shows a wide shot of empty space. The AH.COM appears from lower screen and rapidly moves off camera. Moments later, the Vendetta appears, pursuing.

INT- AH.COM BRIDGE- DAY

DR. WHAT is seen sitting in his chair, looking intently at a gauge on his arm panel. He toggles a comm switch on.

DR. WHAT
Okay, DAVE, we’re close enough…
fire up the shift engines now!

EXT- SPACE

The AH.COM slows down for a moment, and a vortex appears in front of it. The ship flies ahead and disappears into the vortex.

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

TYRANNUS ZERO is watching the view screen; his eyes narrow in anger when the vortex appears.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Scan that vortex and match the coordinates for our own shift.
The heretics will not escape us that easily.

EXT- SPACE
The camera shows a scene of empty space. A vortex opens, and the AH.COM flies out of it, and quickly powers up to full speed.

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

DR. WHAT is seen looking anxiously at the view screen.

DR. WHAT
LEO, anything you can pick up on the scanners yet?

LEO CAESIUS
Earth is coming into range. There appears to be no signs of technology in orbit…
no satellites, no radio or television signals. The planet itself is surrounded by an
energy field that prevents deep scanning. But visual scanners can detect no cities
or lights anywhere. This does appear to be a place where intelligent life never developed.

DR. WHAT
Just like Philadelphia. So, it’s a good bet that this is the
current timeline of the Machine. Let’s get close enough to find it.

LANDSHARK
Heads up, guys! The Vendetta just came in.

EXT- SPACE

The AH.COM flies across the screen. Far behind it, a vortex can be seen closing. Moments later, the Vendetta appears from lower screen, flying across the screen.

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

The camera opens with a shot on the doors. They open, and MIKE COLLINS, followed by EVIL MRP, enters the room.

MIKE COLLINS
(glancing at view screen)
So, you have found them.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Yes, and they have fled to this timeline, right in front of us.
It’s almost as if they wanted us to follow them.

EVIL MRP
Do you suspect a trap?

TYRANNUS ZERO
Perhaps… but nothing has happened yet.
(to crewman)
What is on the scanners?

CREWMAN
No sign of any other ships. The Earth in this timeline
seems to be a primitive one, there is no sign of…
(pause)
Sir! The Machine is here! The same dampening
field surrounds the planet!

The camera switches back to TYRANNUS ZERO, who first looks surprised, and then he smiles wryly.

TYRANNUS ZERO
They are indeed clever. No doubt, they are hoping
that we will turn from the pursuit and destroy the Machine.
(pause)
And they are right. All stations, prepare to break off
pursuit and go into orbit around the planet.

MIKE COLLINS steps forward.

MIKE COLLINS
You need a different plan than what you did last time. If you
just bombard the Machine from orbit again, it will just shift to
another timeline again, and you will have lost it again. Why
don’t you move the ship below the dampening field, teleport me
and several of your people near the Machine, and let us enter it
and shut it down, so that you can destroy it from orbit.
I know my way around the interior, and I can certainly find
the power source and shut it down.

TYRANNUS ZERO
And why should we trust you?

EVIL MRP
Sir, I will accompany the team. If COLLINS thinks
of betraying us, I will know it immediately.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Very well. Prepare to move the ship into orbit.

EXT- SPACE

The camera opens on a shot of the Earth from orbit, with North America clearly seen on the planet below. The AH.COM is seen moving swiftly across the screen, going out of sight around the curve of the planet. Moments later, the Vendetta appears. It stops in orbit.

INT- AH.COM SHIP – CONTROL ROOM- DAY

The camera pans across the room and stops on DR. WHAT, sitting in his chair, tensely looking at the view screen.

DR. WHAT
LEO? What’s going on out there?

LEO CAESIUS
The Vendetta is not pursuing us.
GBW’S plan seems to be working.

GBW
Of course it’s working… it’s me!

DR. WHAT
Certainly. LEO, did you find the Machine yet?

LEO CAESIUS
Yes. I managed to get some video of it as we moved around the planet.
It is on the American Great Plains, about where Wichita is in most
timelines. I’ll put it up for you on the view screen.

The camera switches to a shot of the view screen. A long sweeping shot over North America is seen, and then the camera moves in closer and closer, moving through light clouds. The landscape below, void of any sign of human activity, comes closer into view, and a wide prairie is seen. A black spot on the prairie comes into view, and grows as the camera closes in on it. It is seen to be a large burned area, about a mile across. At the center of it, the Machine is seen.

DR. WHAT
Excellent. Now… we just have to be sure that those nutjobs
on the Vendetta see it and go after it… and finally destroy it.
But I don’t want to move the ship in sight of them, or they
might remember how MATT put a nuke on their ship and detonated it.

MATT
Me?! Yeah, I put it there, but you’re the one who blew it up!

DR. WHAT
(waves hand dismissively)
Details, details.

LEO CAESIUS
Well, I’ll send out one of our stealth satellite probes.
That will let us know what they’re doing.

EXT- SPACE

The AH.COM is seen in space. A puff of a rocket exhaust is seen, tiny against the hull, and a small curved object is seen moving away from the ship.

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

One of the bridge crewmen looks up from his station.

CREWMAN
The away team has been teleported down to the surface, sir.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Very well. Let us hope that this will be the
final part of our quest for vengeance.

The camera pans across the room. Expressions of hope can be seen on every face.

EXT- SPACE

The Vendetta is seen in low orbit. The AH.COM’S stealth satellite enters the screen and moves swiftly towards the enemy ship.

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

LEO CAESIUS
The stealth satellite is in position. Hmm… the Vendetta is
not firing at the Machine. Let me switch cameras down to the surface…

The camera switches to the view screen. The Machine again appears.

LEO CAESIUS
I’m going to pan around the clearing.

The scene on the view screen swings wildly for a moment, and a glimpse of shots of wide open prairie are seen. The camera scene suddenly stops and focuses in on a group of men walking towards the Machine. Most of them are obviously space marines, and one is EVIL MRP… and one is MIKE COLLINS.

The camera switches to DR. WHAT, whose eyes go wide.

DR. WHAT
What… the… hell?! MIKE COLLINS?!
In league with the Vendetta?!
How did he manage to do that?!

OTHNIEL
He had to have lied to them. He wants the Machine
for himself, STRAHA was clear about that.

DR. WHAT
But… that crazy telepath who fought it out with
DAVE is there too. How could COLLINS fool him?

GBW
Either COLLINS can shield his thoughts from him, or the telepath
is conspiring with him. There are no other explanations.

At that moment, the doors open, and DAVE HOWERY and KEIRA walk into the room.

DAVE HOWERY
The shift engines are 100% now,
so we can shift out of here any…

His voice trails off as he sees the view screen. A look of shock and then rage goes across his face.

DAVE HOWERY
COLLINS! And… no! That telepath bastard!

DAVE HOWERY’S hand moves toward one of the chainsaws on his back. Behind him, KEIRA turns pale. She drops the shotgun, and clasps her hands together in fear.
DR. WHAT swivels around in his chair.

DR. WHAT
Whatever is going on down there, we have to stop it.
I’m sending a team down there. We need to either
convince the space marines to stop COLLINS or
keep the whole bunch from getting to the Machine.

MATT
Stop the marines, the telepath, and MIKE COLLINS?
(grins)
Hot damn, Doc. And here I though this
was gonna be another fluff mission.

DR. WHAT
All right. Let’s move the ship close enough to use the teleporter.
I’m going to send down MATT, WEAPON M, IRONYUPPIE,
DMA, MICHAEL, and DAVE HOWERY down to the Machine.
Do whatever you can to stop COLLINS. Meanwhile, I’m going
to talk to TYRANNUS ZERO and try to convince him that COLLINS
is tricking him. This is all a long shot, but there’s really no choice here.

OTHNIEL
Let me go with the team too.
I’ve got a plan. It may not work,
but it’s worth a shot.

DR. WHAT
As you wish.
Everyone get ready.
Good luck.

The away team all move to leave the control room. KEIRA looks up at DAVE HOWERY, worry on her face. He smiles reassuringly at her, runs a hand along her shoulder, and then leaves the room.

END ACT I

ACT II

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

The camera pans across the room, showing the crew at their stations. The camera stops on a communications officer, who looks up in puzzlement.

COMM OFFICER
Sir, I’m getting a signal from the AH.COM.
They want to speak with you.

TYRANNUS ZERO
That’s odd. I would have sworn that they would flee this
timeline after leading us here. Very well, put them through.
But be alert; have all weapons and shields ready.

He turns in his chair towards the view screen. After a moment, the scene changes from a view of the Earth to DR. WHAT in the AH.COM control room.

TYRANNUS ZERO
What do you want, heretic? I am grateful to you for leading
us to the Machine, but I remember well your last encounter
with us, and I remember your treachery as well.

DR. WHAT (on view screen)
It is treachery that I came to talk to you about. You must
know that you cannot trust MIKE COLLINS. He wants the
Machine for his own, and has no intention of destroying it.

TYRANNUS ZERO
I do not trust him. But I have no reason to believe
he is lying either. My own psyker is with him.

DR . WHAT
Then your psyker either is being fooled by COLLINS
or is working against you on some agenda of his own.

A look of fury goes across TYRANNUS ZERO’S face.

TYRANNUS ZERO
You dare to accuse one of my officers of treachery?!
You, who went back on our agreement and destroyed
one of our engines after I released your crew?!

DR. WHAT
(muttering)
Damn, I hoped you’d forgotten about that.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Enough of this!

He pushes a button, and the communication link is broken.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Target that ship and destroy it! We will destroy the Machine and
gain vengeance for our slain Emperor today, and we will also
destroy the AH.COM and avenge ourselves for their treachery!

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

DR. WHAT
Oh boy, here’s where it gets fun.
(pause)
All decks prepare for combat! Evasive action!

EXT- SPACE

The AH.COM is seen facing off against the Vendetta. The AH.COM suddenly swivels and blasts away from orbit. The Vendetta turns and pursues.

EXT- THE MACHINE- DAY

The camera opens on a close shot of the Machine, from the end where the giant tuning fork stands. The team from the Vendetta enters the scene. They look up in awe at the massive building. It appears to be made out battered steel, although not a speck of rust is seen on it. There are still many holes in the outer walls, from the Vendetta’s earlier attack that destroyed the defences of the Machine.
The camera switches to the humans. There are ten space marines and sergeant NEK; MIKE COLLINS and EVIL MRP have managed to place themselves at the rear of the group.

NEK
It’s here. The infernal device that killed our Emperor.
Finally, we can complete our quest… and go home!

A loud warning buzzer sounds from the Machine, and everyone flinches. The camera switches to a wider view, and we see the manipulator arms picking another wet naked LUAKEL clone out of the tank. The giant slingshot emerges from the building, and a blue swirling vortex forms inside the tuning fork. The arms put the LUAKEL in the slingshot cup, pull it back, and let it fly. The LUAKEL flies into the vortex with a loud “Wheeeee!” The camera switches back to the marines.

NEK
And another timeline is going to be destroyed. Come, let us
move inside and find a way to destroy this foul contraption.

Behind them, MIKE COLLINS and EVIL MRP look at each other for a moment. Then, both draw out their bolters and point them at the backs of the unsuspecting space marines. At that moment, a voice is heard from off camera.

VOICE (o.c.)
Not today, COLLINS!

Everyone turns quickly, weapons raised. The camera switches to their POV. We see MATT, WEAPON M, DMA, and IRONYUPPIE standing by the corner of the building, bolters of their own in hand and pointed at the marines.

NEK
Heretics! You dare to try to stop us from destroying the Machine?!

MATT
Nah. I’d love to see you blow this place up. Hell, I’d love to
blow it up myself. For that matter, I love blowing up just about
anything. Especially doors… every time I see one, I just want
to put a big slab of C4 on it and…

IRONYUPPIE
MATT!!

MATT
Oh. Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah. No, we’re here to stop
MIKE COLLINS. He doesn’t want to destroy the Machine,
he wants to take control of it.

EVIL MRP
That’s not true! You want it for yourselves, and
seek to stop us from completing our revenge!

IRONYUPPIE
Why, you big fat liar…

EVIL MRP
SPACE MARINES! ATTACK!

With a howl of anger, the entire Vendetta team opens fire. The AH.COM team quickly ducks back behind the corner of the building. The bolter rounds hit the walls of the Machine, but don’t penetrate, bouncing off and exploding elsewhere. The camera switches to MIKE COLLINS and EVIL MRP, who stop shooting and huddle.

MIKE COLLINS
This is pointless. We need to get inside the Machine.
Let’s go in through one of the holes in the walls.

EVIL MRP
Agreed. I’ll give orders to the marines to stay here and…
(pause)
Wait. Someone’s inside there already

EVIL MRP puts a finger to his temple and closes his eyes.

EVIL MRP
One of them is that man who took STRAHA from you…

MIKE COLLINS
OTHNIEL…

EVIL MRP
…and the other…

EVIL MRP opens his eyes and grins nastily.

EVIL MRP
Well, well. None other than DAVE HOWERY himself.
I’m looking forward to this.

MIKE COLLINS
(evil smile)
HOWERY, huh? I could tell him some stories
about the timeline he comes from. Let’s go.

The two run towards the building and into one of the holes in the wall there.

INT- THE MACHINE- DAY

The camera pans across a vast dimly lit room filled with machinery and computer banks. OTHNIEL and DAVE HOWERY are seen walking warily through it. OTHNIEL is looking at a small device in his hand, but he puts it away with a look of frustration.

OTHNIEL
Shoot! The equipment in here is blanking out my scanner.
There’s got to be some kind of central control room here,
but I have no idea where.

DAVE HOWERY
(looking up at ceiling)
Let’s follow the fiber optic conduits.
That should lead us to it.

The two look around for a moment, and then leave the room.

EXT- THE MACHINE- DAY

The battle outside continues. The camera focuses on the AH.COM team; they are still huddling by the corner of the building. Every so often, one of them darts around and fires at the space marines, and then ducks back. A continual series of explosions are seen as the space marines fire back. Neither side seems able to damage the other.

MATT
Well, we’re certainly keeping them pinned down.
But we’re not doing much else. What the hell are
we supposed to be accomplishing here?

WEAPON M
Keep COLLINS from getting inside and hope that
the captain can convince their captain to turn against him.

MATT
Christ, the DOC couldn’t convince ice to melt in the tropics,
how’s he going to sway those fanatics up there?

WEAPON M
Beats me.
(pause)
Wait… where the hell is MICHAEL?

IRONYUPPIE
He said he had a surprise for the enemy.

MATT
Oh, that dumb damn Aussie!

DMA
Hey!

The camera switches to the space marines. Sergeant NEK is close to the wall of the Machine, trying to work his way forward, firing as he moves. He suddenly looks up as a shadow falls across him. The camera switches to his POV.

MICHAEL is standing on top of the building, bolter in hand. With a cry of “For the Holy Sheep!” he leaps down, aiming straight for NEK… who hastily steps aside. MICHAEL hits the ground in a thudding bellyflop, sinking several inches into the ground, arms and legs splayed out. NEK looks at him a moment, nudges him with a toe, and then shrugs and goes back to the fight.

INT- THE MACHINE CONTROL CENTER- DAY

The camera opens with a scene looking to the doorway. OTHNIEL and DAVE HOWERY are seen walking into the room and looking around.

OTHNIEL
Well, this has to be the place.

The camera switches to a view from behind them. The room is wide and tall. Most of it is filled with computer banks. A single chair is set in front of a desk with a keyboard and monitor, in the center of the room. OTHNIEL hurries over and sits down there. He taps several keys, and the monitor lights up and scrolls through a series of data lines.

OTHNIEL
Darn it, I can’t make heads or tails of this. How about you?

DAVE HOWERY
Hey, ask me about robotics, mechs,
or shift engines, not data systems.

OTHNIEL
All right, geez, I was just asking. Hmm… I
guess I’m going to need LEO for this one.

He takes out a communicator and plugs it into a handy socket on the keyboard.

OTHNIEL
Hey, LEO, can you hear me? I need some help
figuring out how to shut down this thing.

LEO CAESIUS’S voice comes back through the communicator, sounding rather peeved.

LEO CAESIUS
Damn it, OTHNIEL, we’re just a little busy up here now!

EXT- SPACE

The AH.COM is seen rolling through a series of spiralling manoeuvres, with the Vendetta close behind and firing continually.

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

The room is shaking as weapons from the Vendetta strike the ship.

DR. WHAT
KIT, how are we doing?

KIT
Shields are down to 30 %. Our weapons don’t seem to
be having much of an impact on the enemy.

DR. WHAT
Well, so long as the engines hold out, we can give
OTHNIEL time to shut down the Machine.

INT- AH.COM SHIP- ENGINEERING- DAY

PSYCHOMELTDOWN is seen frantically reading gauges and tapping on keyboards. G BONE runs screaming across the screen in the background.

G BONE
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!

PSYCHOMELTDOWN
Shut the fuck up! Thrust engines are overheating a little…
get over to the heat sink station and manually open them up 20% more.

G BONE runs screaming back across the screen in the background.

G BONE
WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! DIE! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

PSYCHOMELTDOWN
(muttering)
God damn it, G BONE….

INT- THE MACHINE CONTROL CENTER- DAY

OTHNIEL looks at the communicator, from which sounds of combat and the AH.COM crew frantically yelling orders can be heard.

OTHNIEL
Uh oh. Sounds like the Vendetta didn’t take the bait.
They’re attacking the ship! Now what do we do?

DAVE HOWERY
See if you can figure out how to shut the machine down.
And maybe look for a self destruct program. If we can
blow this thing up, maybe they’ll go away.

OTHNIEL
But maybe they’ll still come after the ship, since the DOC
blew up one of their engines. Can’t take that chance.

OTHNIEL thinks deeply for a moment, and then snaps his fingers.

OTHNIEL
Got an idea. We’re going to save the ship
and then destroy the Machine.
(into communicator)
LEO! I got a plan, so listen up…

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

LEO CAESIUS
Okay, got it, OTHNIEL.
(pause)
LANDSHARK! Run the ship past the Earth close
enough to use the teleporter. OTHNIEL and I have
a plan… no time to explain… do it!
(pause)
G BONE, get to… damn it, G BONE, quit screaming and
get to the teleporter room! That’s ridiculous, calling me
names won’t help, and besides, I’m an AI, and I never had
a mother… damn it, just get to the teleporter room!!

EXT- SPACE

The AH.COM makes a sharp turn, heading directly towards the Earth. The Vendetta pursues them.

INT- THE MACHINE CONTROL CENTER- DAY

OTHNIEL and DAVE HOWERY are looking anxiously around. With a low hum, a stack of crates suddenly shimmers into view.

OTHNIEL
Great. Quick, load them into that lift over there.
Now, if LEO can just take control…

LEO CAESIUS (from communicator)
I have a good link. Processing. Hmmm… a strange type
of computer programming, but I can access it. Okay, I
have the controls to the manipulators and internal machinery.
Accessing LUAKEL programming… reprogramming mental uploads…

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

LEO CAESIUS
Processing complete. Reprogramming complete. LANDSHARK,
make another low orbit run over the planet…
this time, pass right over the Machine.

LANDSHARK
But what….

LEO CAESIUS
No time to explain! Just do it, you overdressed angry Brit!

LANDSHARK
Fine!
(muttering)
Uppity damn computer.

EXT- THE MACHINE- DAY

The camera opens with a wide shot over the top of the Machine. The manipulator arms are seen reaching into the cloning tank and pulling out another wet naked LUAKEL clone. But this time, a small panel opens on the roof, and the manipulator arms take the clone down out of sight into the building. A few moments later, the arms pull back out. The LUAKEL is dressed in a space suit. The arms place the clone into the cup of the slingshot, which swivels around and angles back slightly so that it is aiming up towards the sky.

The AH.COM is seen coming into view out of space. As it enters the atmosphere, long contrails stream out behind it. The Vendetta appears moments later, above and behind.

The slingshot fires.

The camera switches to a view of the LUAKEL clone flying through the air and follows it as it flies towards the Vendetta. The air gets thinner and darker as it moves up, and the clone’s flight starts to slow down. A jet pack thruster on the space suit fires, and the clone moves rapidly towards the Vendetta. The clone shoots right through some of the superstructure, and then it grabs a communications mast, swings around it several times, and comes to a halt. The clone shimmies down the mast and trundles towards the back of the ship.

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

A crewman looks up from his station.

CREWMAN
Sir, we… we have a foreign object on our hull.
It appears to be someone in a space suit.

TYRANNUS ZERO
(looking baffled)
In the Emperor’s name, how did anyone get there?!

EXT- VENDETTA HULL

The LUAKEL clone is seen moving around at the very back of the Vendetta’s hull. It looks around a moment, and then sits down. It pulls off an access panel, reaches into the cavity, and pulls out a handful of wires, which spark as they are broken.

The camera switches to a scene of the massive engine exhausts on the back of the ship. The fiery exhausts suddenly stop, and the engines sputter and die.

The camera switches back to the LUAKEL clone, which claps its hands together happily. The clone pulls several tools out of a belt pouch and begins taking off several pieces of the hull.

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

CREWMAN
Sir! We just lost power to the engines… they’re both out!

TYRANNUS ZERO
Damn those heretics! They did this somehow. Obviously,
whoever they managed to sneak onto our hull has disabled
the engines. Very well… prepare a squad of Assault Marines
for deep space operations and have them remove the intruder from our hull.
(pause)
What is the enemy ship doing?

CREWMAN
They’re staying just out of weapons’ range.
They’re not attacking, but they aren’t leaving either.

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

The camera pans across the room. The crew here is staring at the view screen in wonder; the immobilized Vendetta is seen on it.

DR. WHAT
I can’t believe that worked!

KIT
Yes, it’s a good thing we never quite managed to sell
those space suits to anyone. But what do we do now?

DR. WHAT
Give LEO time to sift through the Machine’s computers.
Hopefully find a self destruct program. How’s it going, LEO?

LEO CAESIUS
Slow. There are a number of heavily encrypted files on the
mainframe, and they are difficult to crack. It’s going to take some time.

DR. WHAT
Well, we have some time…
look, there’s another one!

On the view screen, a tiny spacesuited figure is seen flying through the air and landing on the top hull of the Vendetta.

EXT- THE MACHINE- DAY

The camera opens on the AH.COM team, still crouching around the corner of the building. No one seems to be shooting right now.

MATT
Shit! They’re up to something. Bet you anything that they’re
figuring out how to work around our flank.

WEAPON M
How do you know that?

MATT
It’s what I’d do.

IRONYUPPIE
Do you suppose they’re also propositioning
male prostitutes, because you’d do that too.

MATT
Hey!! It was only one time, and he looked really effeminate, and…

WEAPON M
Never mind! We have to figure out a plan.

A loud cracking sound is heard, and the team looks up at the top of the building. The slingshot has just fired again, and another suited LUAKEL is flying up towards the Vendetta.

The camera switches to a view of the space marines. Sergeant NEK is talking to several of them, obviously giving them orders. Various marines nod and move away.

MICHAEL is still flattened on the ground and seems to be ignored by the marines, who simply run past or over him, sometimes stepping on him.

INT- THE MACHINE CONTROL CENTER- DAY

OTHNIEL is still sitting at the control desk, looking at the data streams moving on the monitor.

OTHNIEL
(muttering)
Come on, LEO, find it.

DAVE HOWERY
How much longer is this going to take?
Those LUAKEL clones are keeping the
Vendetta occupied for now, but it won’t
take long for the marines to stop them.
We don’t have a lot of time.

OTHNIEL
Hard to say. The encryptions on
here are pretty tricky and…

He stops as DAVE HOWERY holds up a hand in warning; he’s looking suspiciously at the room entrance.

OTHNIEL
What?

DAVE HOWERY
Heard something. You stay here;
I’m going to go check it out.

DAVE HOWERY takes his two chainsaws off his back and walks out of the room.

EXT- THE VENDETTA

The camera pans across the top hull of the Vendetta. At least a dozen suited LUAKEL clones can be seen busily dismantling everything they can reach. Lights across the hull and superstructure go out one by one. The camera closes in on one of the clones, who is trying to take the leg off of a communications tower. The tower is rocking back and forth. The clone suddenly stops and looks around.

The camera switches to his POV, and we see a squad of Assault Marines fly up over the edge of the hull; they are suited for deep space, and their jet packs give them great mobility. All carry bolters in their hands. Two of them fire at the LUAKEL. He is hit in the chest several times, and floats away from the ship, obviously dead. The marines then rocket over the rest of the ship, shooting at fleeing LUAKELS.

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

CREWMAN
Sir, the Assault Marines have begun to dispose
of the intruders. Several systems have gone out,
but we should have everything on line again in minutes.
(pause)
Sir, the enemy ship is staying out of range of most of
our weapons… but we could hit them with the Yamato gun.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Yes. I hesitate to use that weapon because each shot drains
a quarter of our power, and leaves our shields weakened for
so long. But in this situation… yes, we will chance it.
Charge up the Yamato gun and prepare a targeting
solution on the enemy ship.

INT- THE MACHINE- DAY

DAVE HOWERY is seen walking warily through a room full of power units. He looks around at the darkened corners and the blinking status lights all over. He looks at the opposite entrance to the room for a moment, and starts to turn away, when a low laugh makes him turn swiftly back.

The camera switches to his POV. MIKE COLLINS and EVIL MRP are standing in the entrance, sneering at him.

MIKE COLLINS
We meet again, Mr. HOWERY. I think
I’ll kick your ass good and certain this time.

DAVE HOWERY
You can try. You may succeed. But LEO will turn
on the self destruct before you get past me.
You’ve lost, COLLINS.

The sneer slips off of MIKE COLLINS’ face, and he steps forward angrily.

MIKE COLLINS
The Machine will be mine!

DAVE HOWERY
Yeah, you’re big and bad, yadda yadda yadda.
(to EVIL MRP)
And what are you getting out of this? Why are you siding
with him instead of wanting to blow up the Machine?

EVIL MRP
What do I get? Why, KEIRA, of course.

DAVE HOWERY
Thought that might be it. Well, she’s safe on the ship.
You’re not getting your hands on her, you redheaded
psychotic telepath.

EVIL MRP
By myself, probably not. But I have COLLINS on my side now.
Between the two of us, we can manage to get hold of one small
woman… and with you dead, she’ll be free of the compulsion
that ties her to you… you dirty old man.

MIKE COLLINS
Ah, yes, it’s a pity that I have been so involved
in depriving you of the women in your life.
(pause)
Isn’t that true, #2191?

The camera switches to DAVE HOWERY, who goes deathly pale.

DAVE HOWERY
How… how could you know…

MIKE COLLINS snarls viciously and gestures to himself.

MIKE COLLINS
All hail the glorious Premiere.

DAVE HOWERY
You… you were…

A familiar look of complete insane rage goes across DAVE HOWERY’S face. Moving blindingly fast, he thumbs the switch on one of his chainsaws, bringing it to a roar. He swings hard at MIKE COLLINS, who seems to have been caught by surprise, and takes a step back in alarm, but DAVE HOWERY is too fast…

But EVIL MRP moves even faster. His chainsword moves in front of MIKE COLLINS; the chainsaw blade catches on the chainsword, and COLLINS is untouched.

EVIL MRP
I knew you were going to do that.

EXT- VENDETTA

The camera shows a single LUAKEL clone fleeing slowly across the hull. It is dodging and weaving in between the superstructure and towers on the top hull. However, a pair of Assault Marines rocket into view just behind it. They fire their bolters, and the LUAKEL is hit in the back several times. It ceases all movement, and floats gently away from the ship.

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

CREWMAN
Sir, the Assault Marines have just reported in. All intruders
have been eliminated. Also, the Yamato gun is ready to fire.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Excellent. Target the enemy ship.

He swivels around in his command chair and faces the view screen.

EXT- SPACE

The Vendetta and the AH.COM ship are seen in orbit, the latter moving slowly around the larger ship. The Vendetta swivels slightly in place, so that it is facing the other ship directly. A massive power beam fires out of the Vendetta and strikes the AH.COM ship. Although the lights on the Vendetta immediately go dimmer, the AH.COM has been severely damaged.

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

Everyone in the room is hanging onto their chairs as the ship spins violently around.

DR. WHAT
Son. Of. A. Bitch!! What the hell was that?!

LEO CAESIUS
We’ve been hit by a massive energy weapon. Engines are out.
All weapons are out. Shields are down. We’re a sitting duck!
One more shot, and we’re done for!
(pause)
And I’ve lost the data link to the Machine!

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

TYRANNUS ZERO is looking at the AH.COM, seen adrift in space on the view screen.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Hit them again.

EXT- THE MACHINE- DAY

The camera shows the AH.COM team hugging the side of the building as enemy bolter fire explodes against the corner of the building.

MATT
Damn it, I knew this was gonna happen. They outnumber us,
they’re keeping us pinned down, and you can bet they are
sneaking people around us to hit us from another side.

WEAPON M
Watch it!

The team members all turn, and look astonished as a pair of marines with huge bolters rise out of a nearby hollow, weapons aimed straight at the team. The team members all start to swing their weapons around, but it is obvious that the marines have the drop on them, and will fire first.

INT- THE MACHINE CONTROL CENTER- DAY

OTHNIEL is watching the monitor, and he leans forward in alarm as the screen suddenly goes dark.

OTHNIEL
LEO? What’s wrong?

He stands and looks at the communicator. A low sound is heard off camera, and OTHNIEL turns to look. He staggers back against the desk, eyes wide in surprise.

The camera switches to his POV. MIKE COLLINS and EVIL MRP stand in the entrance. COLLINS holds DAVE HOWERY by the front of his shirt, completely off the ground. DAVE is limp and motionless, his head lolling against his shoulder. MIKE COLLINS tosses him contemptuously at OTHNIEL’S feet; he lands with a boneless thud. OTHNIEL looks down at the engineer. He is battered and has a horrible looking gash on his head, but he draws in a ragged breath; he’s alive. OTHNIEL looks back up fearfully at the two enemies. EVIL MRP steps forward, a phoney smile on his face.

EVIL MRP
Thank you for guiding us to this room.
Your help is no longer required.

MIKE COLLINS
Neither is yours.

EVIL MRP swivels in astonishment to see MIKE COLLINS standing behind him.

EVIL MRP
You… you are betraying me?!

MIKE COLLINS
Did you really think I couldn’t
disguise my thoughts from you?

EVIL MRP moves to draw his chainsword, but MIKE COLLINS strikes him on the forehead with his fist. EVIL MRP falls to the floor, not dead, but unconscious.

MIKE COLLINS
As if I want to waste time getting you a girl. Now, to business.
(facing OTHNIEL)
Once again, you are between me and my goal. Step away
from the console. I’d hate to have your blood stain it…

His voice trails off when he sees that OTHNIEL is looking behind him with a puzzled expression. He turns, and the camera switches to his POV.

A figure in a black cloak and hood is standing by the entrance. Nothing can be seen except for a pair of pale hands.

MIKE COLLINS
Who the fuck are you?!

The camera switches to a close up view of the person’s hands. One hand raises, and a finger wags playfully, but warningly, back and forth.

The camera switches to a view from behind the figure. We see it reach up and start to lower the hood, but the camera zooms forward to OTHNIEL and MIKE COLLINS, so we never see the face. However, OTHNIEL and MIKE COLLINS both react with shock and wide eyed surprise.

OTHNIEL
You?! Here?! No…

MIKE COLLINS
It can’t be… not here…

The camera switches to a close up of the person’s hands again. They spread the fingers wide and wave across the screen. A high pitched humming sound is heard, and the screen fuzzes out to brilliant white light. And then the sound stops and the screen suddenly goes black.

END ACT II

TAG

INT- AH.COM CONTROL ROOM- DAY

The camera opens on a shot of DR. WHAT sitting in his command chair. He is motionless, and staring unblinkingly ahead of him. Suddenly, he blinks and shakes his head. He looks around and sees the others in the room doing the same thing. Everyone looks puzzled. OTHNIEL stands in the center of the room, looking completely baffled.

DR. WHAT
Wait… what… what the hell happened?
(pause)
OTHNIEL?

OTHNIEL
I… don’t know. I remember being in the Machine,
I remember MIKE COLLINS coming into the control
center there… and then nothing.

DR. WHAT
LEO? What happened?

LEO CAESIUS
I don’t know. My memory logs have a gap of 20 minutes in them.
My last recordings are of the ship being severely damaged by the
Vendetta, and then nothing until we ended up here.
(pause)
We are no longer in the timeline of the Machine. This world has humans
and technology. I also do not detect the Vendetta or any other ships in orbit.

KIT
Is the rest of the crew on board?

LEO CAESIUS
Yes. DAVE HOWERY and MICHAEL are in
the Medical Bay. But everyone is aboard.
(pause)
Except STRAHA. He has vanished from the brig.

DR. WHAT
Christ! Did we all dream the whole thing?

LEO CAESIUS
No, definitely not. The ship is severely damaged,
exactly as I had recorded.

The crew members all take a moment and look at each other in unease.

DR. WHAT
My God. Just what happened to us?

INT- VENDETTA BRIDGE- DAY

The camera opens on a scene of TYRANNUS ZERO sitting in his command chair, unmoving and staring blankly ahead of him. He suddenly blinks and raises a hand to his head. Startled, he turns to look at the rest of the crew, who are also just coming to their senses.

TYRANNUS ZERO
What… status?

CREWMAN
(hurriedly looking at his panel)
Uh… all systems nominal. The hull is still damaged
from the intruders’ attack, but repairs are nearly done.
(pause)
Where are we?

SBEGIN
Sir, we are no longer in the timeline of the Machine.
The world below has cities and humans. I do not
detect any other ships in the area.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Does anyone remember just how we got here?

CREWMAN
Sir, the ship’s recorders tell me nothing. There is
a gap in the electronic data of 20 minutes. But our
entire current crew roster is all present and accounted for.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Very well. This is strange. Some force has not only
thrown us into another timeline, it has erased all memory of it.
(pause)
And we have lost the Machine again. I wonder if we should
return to that timeline and look for clues as to where it has gone…

SBEGIN
Sir. There is a LUAKEL on the planet below.

TYRANNUS ZERO has his back turned to the rest of the crew, and none see the look of utter weariness and anguish go across his face. When he turns to face them, he has his normal expression.

TYRANNUS ZERO
Very well. Prepare for complete planetary extermination.

INT- IP.NET BRIDGE- DAY

The camera opens on a scene of MIKE COLLINS and MOLOBO sitting at the controls of the ship. Both suddenly stir, as if just coming to their senses.

MIKE COLLINS
Wait… MOLOBO? Where…
(pause)
Something has gone wrong.

He swiftly runs his hands over the controls and looks at the data on the monitor. He then looks angry, and smashes one fist down on the console.

MIKE COLLINS
Damn it! This is not the timeline where the Machine is!
And there are no other ships nearby either. I have no idea
just what this timeline is, but it has people on it.

MOLOBO
What… how did we get here?

MIKE COLLINS
I… don’t know. I remember being inside the Machine,
I remember turning the tables on that idiot telepath…
and then nothing.
(pause)
Oh well, at least I got rid of that idiot STRAHA.
He’s the AH.COM’S problem now.

The door to the room opens, and STRAHA wanders in, looking even more confused than normal.

STRAHA
How did I get here?

MIKE COLLINS
(muttering)
Oh just great.

INT- A PLACE UNKNOWN

The screen shows a scene that is completely black and dark, except for a shaft of bright light coming from somewhere above, making a circle of light on a black floor. The cloaked and hooded figure from the Machine stands in the light, back to the camera. He speaks in a deep unnatural voice.

CLOAKED FIGURE
You worry without reason. The Machine is safe.

In the blackness beyond the light, very vague movements made by… something… can be seen, but they are too indistinct to see what is making them. A harsh screeching voice comes out of the blackness.

VOICE
You came close to failure. We have invested too much in you for failure.

CLOAKED FIGURE
I have not failed.  The Machine is safe.
It is operating at full capacity again.
It will not be found.  The Plan goes
ahead as scheduled.

EXT- AFRICA- DAY

The camera pans across a view of beautiful African savannah. Vast herds of game are seen everywhere; this is obviously another world where humanity never arose. Mount Kilimanjaro is seen briefly in the distance. The camera stops on a view of a huge burned out area. The Machine stands at the center of it. There is a blue vortex between the arms of the tuning fork, and the final scene shows a LUAKEL clone being launched by the slingshot, sending it to yet another timeline.

FADE TO BLACK

ROLL END CREDITS